So, post this I will. Though, it is our intent not to publish this blog until we are through the first trimester of a pregnancy and ready to share it with the world. So, by the time the public has a chance to read this, some time will thankfully have passed.
The condensed version of the story is that we lost the baby. For those that are not interested in the details, feel free to skip below the purple text. (I do sort of miss having cut tags in livejournal for this reason.)
I'm just gonna throw this all out there. Warning, this is a little TMI.
Almost from the beginning of the pregnancy, I was very ill. Nauseous 24/7 and losing weight fast. we decided to still try to go on our honeymoon to New Orleans, and about 10 hours into the drive, I had terrible cramping and I started bleeding a little. So, in Decatur Alabama, we spent almost 4 hours in the ER there. They sent us home and put me on bed rest...giving me a shot that would go on to compound the chronic constipation I was already suffering from. I was told that these things happen and it looks like things were still alright, but if I wanted to keep the baby I needed to stay off my feet.
For the next week, I was lying in bed, wracked with pain caused by the nausea and constipation the ER shot gave me. But I felt it was what I had to do to keep the baby. So I went to my first ob appointment, where they also did bloodwork and ultrasounds (u/s). The embryo was really small on the u/s, but they guessed we just misjudged my conception date. I had to wait two more days to get the bloodwork back and they said my hcg levels looked normal and my body was reacting well to the pregnancy.
So I'd go back in another week to do it all over again and make sure things were progressing alright. Another agonizing week passed with me being really ill and terribly anxious as to the future of the pregnancy.
So I went in again, having been struggling to eat more than a few spoons of yogurt and a couple of crackers for meals. So, I went in, Wednesday Sept 28th, and though my body was doing a great job of getting ready, the embryo had not grown in three weeks and was not viable at this stage. I was informed that the next morning (Thursday Sept 29th) for my own health, I needed to have a d&c procedure to remove the embryo.
I went from 3pm, anxiously hoping to hear a fetal heartbeat, to 9am...prepping in an O.R. for them to remove it.
Our lives just changed so fast.
While I had mentally prepared for this as an option, I must admit, it is a pretty crushing blow. We managed to tell a few close friends and family and they helped us through this. But all told, I'm still reeling from the loss. Frankly, I was pretty numb all weekend and it wasn't until yesterday that I really had the chance to let it sink in.
I suppose this gives me an opportunity to start fresh and try to be conscious about my pre-pregnancy health for a few months before trying again.
I hope that this situation will be an example of how common this kind of situation is. And maybe by sharing this, it will give someone hope after loss like this.
Be well.
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